July 25 Weigh-In, Week 337

It has been three weeks since my back started hurting.  It is hurting much less now, but I don't feel it's in good enough shape to go back to my exercising.  I think I must have over done it with some of my weight training.  I miss the running and weights.  Hopefully next week I can start back up.

However, we leave for our annual camping trip next week.  We will be gone for 2 weeks.  The rest of August, I will be doing a lot of traveling.  I am determined to keep track of everything I eat.  However, I don't know when the next time I will be home on a Thursday morning to do my weekly "official" weigh-in.  Every morning I am home, I am sure I will weigh myself. 

Last week, I learned that I lost 4 lbs. in two weeks.  Without exercise, I thought my weight loss would slow down.  Instead, I lost 3 lbs. this last week.  Go figure.  I think that my metabolism is higher from all the weeks of exercise, but if I don't get back to it soon, I am certain it will slow down.  I am so happy.  My weight this morning was 298lbs.  What a relief to be under 300!  I think I can be more relaxed about it mentally.  I know I am in the 200's for a long time.  However long it takes, it takes.  In fact, it isn't about a weight goal.  It's a lifestyle goal.  I am living that lifestyle.  Each day, I can reach my goal.  If I don't in a particular day, oh well.  As long as I don't make my "oh well's" the lifestyle, every thing is peachy.

Living Fit Is My #1 Job!

July 18 Weigh-In, Week 336

I missed last week's weigh-in because I was at a youth conference.  It was at Purdue University.  I did not make the healthiest choices.  University cafeteria food has certainly changed since I was in college.  They had a Mongolian BBQ for Pete's sake, A Mongolian BBQ!  I heard about the freshman ten.  I think today it must be the freshman twenty.  Anyhow, I indulged.  It happens.  Dare I say that I did nothing wrong.  Now I am back to healthy eating.

On Friday July 5th, I woke up with a sore back.  I don't remember doing anything in specific to hurt my back.  I went ahead and did my run and my weight training.  Saturday I did my weight training and rode my back Saturday evening.  Sunday, I was in terrible pain all day.  Monday, I left for the conference.  The pain was there all week, but thankfully not as bad as Sunday.  There was a lot of walking and stairs. I even did a little "English Country Dancing" which is closer to square dancing than line dancing.  Think Pride and Prejudice.  I am still in pain and have not done any cardio or weight training since that Saturday.  If it still hurts tomorrow, I will call a chiropractor.

After the poor eating and lack of exercise, I was praying that I remained even.  I was in for a treat this morning.  I weighed 301 lbs.  This means that I have lost 25 lbs since April and 79 since I began.  I am extremely encouraged.  It's not just the numbers, but I have started to notice that my pants are fitting better and I have to bring my belt in.  I really hope that I can start exercising again soon.  I miss it.

Living Fit Is My #1 Job! 

July 4 Weigh_in Week 334

On this Independence Day, I am thankful for all the brave men and women (and their families) who have served to protect our freedoms.  So many have given up so much so that I can live in peace and prosperity in this country.  My own struggle with fitness seems callow compared to their struggles.

This week has been really good fitness-wise.  I found myself feeling fit, though I don't look it.  What I see in the mirror doesn't reflect how I feel.  The whole psychological aspect of this journey mystifies me.  I have read some stories of people who went from obesity to fit, yet they say that they still struggle with thinking like an obese person.  I just don't get it.  I am not saying that it isn't true.  I believe it is.  But I don't know if I think like an obese person or not.  What I do know is that I have been feeling like a fit person.

This brings up another psychological point that mystifies me: Emotional Eating.  Apparently, emotional eating is BAD!  Whenever I looked for definitions of emotional eating, I found that by those definitions everyone must be emotional eaters.  What does make sense to me is that some people turn to food when they are angry, depressed, sad, or anxious.  So I can see that eating as a way to deal with negative emotions is bad.  In that sense, I don't think that I am an emotional eater.  In fact, It tend to lose my appetite in those situations.

I don't know how anyone can eat without emotion.  I like to enjoy the food I am eating.  I enjoy the look of food, the smell, the texture.  I enjoy eating with the people I love.  I enjoy celebrating with a special meal including the dessert.  Certainly, I don't need food to celebrate, but there is nothing wrong with it either.  Though I have not researched it, I suspect that every culture has special foods tied with their celebrations.  However, this doesn't mean I need to stuff myself silly.  I can enjoy the celebration, the people I am with, and eat a delicious meal in moderation.

Losing weight is not one of those occasions that I celebrate with food.  It is its own reward.  Even better has been feeling fit.  That is a much greater reward than the scale number.  However, the scale number this morning was a nice reward in itself. I lost 2 lbs. since last week.  I now weight 305 lbs.  I am inching closer to that 300 lb.  mark.  I am looking forward to seeing a 2 rather than a 3 at the beginning of my weight. 

Living Fit Is My #1 Job!

June 27 Weigh-In Week 333

I have been on track with my fit lifestyle.  I feel more physical, if that makes any sense.  In fact, I feel different than how my body looks.  In other woods, the excess fat doesn't fit with how I am living.  Slowly, week by week, month by month, and year by year, I am going to look more and more how I feel.

This week I lost 2 lbs.  Yes! 

Living Fit Is My #1 Job!

June 20 Weigh-In, Week 332

I wonder why I looked up and started to record how many weeks again.  In one sense, it is depressing that after all this time, I am where I am.  On the other hand, it is a motivation.  After all this time, I can't just give up.  I need to keep going until living fit is all I know. 

This week, I upped my exercises.  I have started to ride my bike on the days I am not running.  As far as strength training, I have been doing only the very basics, just doing one set of reps for each muscle group, split into three days.  This week, I have added more sets for each muscle group.  For example, I went from doing a set of chest presses to doing chest presses, flyes, and push-ups.  I have divided these over 6 days.  I like strength training. 

It's a wonder that I can fit all this stuff in a week.  Sometimes, I wish I didn't need to work so that I would have the time for all the other stuff in life. But life isn't all about me.  I need to prioritize.  I need to prioritize the time to live fit or I won't have the time to live.

This week, I lost 1 lb. on the scale.  I always hope for more, but it's far better (psychologically) than seeing a standstill or a gain.  Over time, the pounds have added up and will continue to add.  That's 17 lbs. since I rebooted in April, and 71 lbs. from my all time high.  I am feeling good about that.

Living Fit Is My #1 Job!

June 13 Weigh-In, Week 331

It's been a crazy week concerning weight.  I thought I was going to remain static or even have a slight gain.  I have not stopped exercising or eating healthy.  I weigh myself most days, though my official weigh in is Thursday mornings.  Those unofficial weigh-ins were not encouraging.  I mentioned last in my last what I believe that weigh-ins do and do not tell us.  No use in rehashing that.  I know that some advocate weighing yourself only once a week, but as much as it drives me crazy, I am interested in the fluctuations.  I am curious if any pattern emerges over the long haul.

This weigh-in showed a respectable loss of 1.5 lbs. from last week.

My short-term goal is to get under 300 lbs.  Once I get under 300, I will be in the 200's for quite a while. Psychologically, I will find it very encouraging to see a 2 rather than a 3 at the beginning of my weight.  I was hoping to get there by July, but at the rate I am going that will not happen.  Though disappointed, I am okay with that just as long as I continue to live a fit lifestyle and continue to make progress.

Concerning exercise.  Last week we took the week off from running and biked instead.  I think this was a good switch-up.  We are back to running this week.  Strength training has been mostly lifting weights.  I have a set of Power Blocks which are a type of nesting dumbbells.  I love them.  I have been lifting 3x a week.  Next week, I plan to spread the lifting out over 6 days and add a few things. A few years ago when I got my Achilles injury, I had not strength trained in a long time.  I mostly got all my exercise from running with some biking and swimming.  I plan to keep up the strength training along with the cardio.

Living Fit Is My #1 Job!   

June 6 Weigh-In, Week 330

I remain 311.5 lbs.

To me this is one of the most diabolical things about weight loss.  I try to make this whole journey about living fit.  The biggest part of that for me is activity and food choices.  The emotional and psychological aspects are important as well, but I have not focused on that too much.  Like any journey, there are different markers along the way.  When going some where, you use markers like time, distance, road signs, and land marks.  When living fit, some of those markers are time and distance with cardio, lbs. with weight training, ease of climbing stairs, being proud of everything you have eaten, # of days not eating that late night snack, blood pressure, sugar levels, cholesterol, resting heart rate, medicines no longer needed, etc...  The one marker that seems more daunting than all the rest is weight loss.

Weight loss deals simply with the numbers on the scale.  It tells you a lot, but it tells you very little.  How's that for illogical thinking.  What I mean is that changes on the scale over time tells you something is going on.  That is important!  What it doesn't tell you is exactly what and why.

I am not really interested in losing weight.  I want to lose fat.  I am no expert, but if I understand it correctly, metabolism is directly connected to muscle.  The more muscle we have, the higher our metabolism will be.  I know there are other factors involved such and hormones and glands, but that doesn't change my point.  If I lose muscle weight, the scale goes down, but I am much worse off for it.  On the other hand, if I gain muscle, the scale may go up, but I am much better for it.  In one case, I will be less healthy and more likely to gain fat.  In the latter, I will be more fit and likely lose more fat.

The other factor the scale doesn't reveal is hydration.  One thing I learned when I used to watch the Biggest Loser is that the amount of hydration can change your weight by several lbs.  We should all be well hydrated, but regardless, water weight is not something the scale reveals.

Weight change over time, tells us something is going on.  Weight change does not tell us how much muscle, fat, or water is lost or gained.

While I was hoping for a loss, I need to remind myself that I am eating healthy.  I am doing cardio 3x a week.  I am doing strength training 3x a week.  In many respects I am living a fit lifestyle.  Therefore, I must conclude that there are good changes going on inside.  I should not worry about the number on the scale. That will come.

Living Fit Is My #1 Job! 

Shut Your Trap! You Are Satan!!!!!

This means you!  When you say things to me like, "Go ahead. One dessert won't hurt you.  Oh, eat that cheesy, bacon filled, breaded, deep fried whatever.  You can't eat healthy all the time.  You need a break.  Just this once isn't going to kill you."

The moment you even think something like that, let alone say it to me, understand this one thing.  You are Satan!!!! 

I don't want to hear any excuse.  I don't want to hear any rationalization.  Just shut your trap!  You are Satan!!!!

Now, should you want to pretend to be nice and helpful (though I think Satan would only do this so he could do something even more cruel), simply say with a smile, "Keep us the good work.  You are doing a good job."  Then shut up about food, weight loss, fitness, exercising, and especially about your nephew who lost 500 lbs. in 1 month on the half bagel a day diet. 

Rant done.  You may go back to torturing puppies.

Living Fit Is My #1 Job!

330

I just figured out that Monday will mark my 330th week since I started at 380 lbs.  That's 6 years 17 weeks.  I was convinced that that would be my last time up and down the weight roller coaster.  For some strange, delusional reason,  I kept telling myself that I could and would quickly lose the weight again, and it would only take me 6-8 weeks.

The weight was only a side affect of the real problem.  I stopped living a fit lifestyle.  Well, I can certain come up with the list of excuses.  I could easily blame my Achilles tendon for it.  The fact is that when I couldn't run, I eventually quit trying to live fit.  Well, that is not entirely true.  I have made some efforts.  I even tried going vegan last year.  It wasn't all that bad.  I learned to like some new foods such as kale.  But it wasn't for me.  I made lots of attempts at exercise including speed walking.  However, I wasn't consistent.

This is getting too depressing.

I don't know if there is a deeper problem.  Is there is some psychological reason that I have yet to address?  Is there some issue that until I deal with it, I will always be on this roller coaster?  Or is it more base?  I love food, especially the high fat, high sugar types.  Am I simply just giving in?  Deep down, am I simply just unable and unwilling to live fit?  I don't know the answer.

I do know that I am living a fit lifestyle today.  I am tracking my calories.  I am making healthy choices.  I am exercising.  I plan to do the same tomorrow, but I just need to get through today before I can worry about tomorrow.

Living Fit Is My #1 Job!

May 30th Weigh-In & THE PLAN

Sunday, our daughter was confirmed and we had an open house.  This meant walking tacos, meatballs, German potato salad, crackers, cake, etc...  On Memorial Day, we cooked dogs and brats on the grill along with left overs from the party.  I didn't even bother to record what I ate.  This was partly because it would be too hard to recall and estimate portion sizes and partly because I simply didn't want to hold myself accountable.

I wasn't as restrained as I planned to be.  I was more restrained than I would have been 2 months ago.  I figured that I would pay for it at the scale. 

I lost 2 lbs.  So did I pay for it?  Who knows?  I was thrilled that I didn't gain or even maintain, but lost.  Perhaps, I would have lost more had I not eaten so poorly.  The scale is a funny thing.  I think water retention can make it look like you haven't lost any when you have or like you have lost when you haven't.  Also, I think that your body's weight loss or gain isn't based on any one meal, one day, or even one week.  I believe that the body responds to consistency over time (If that makes any sense).  I weigh 14.5 lbs. less then I did two months ago.  That is the result of consistency over time.

THE PLAN
My plan is quite simple: 

Food
Record everything I eat which I do using "fitday.com".   I try to keep my fat consumption under 30%, my calories under 2200 (I am 6'2"), eat unprocessed foods, and eat lots of veggies. 

Exercise
Currently I run 3 days a week and weight train 3 days a week.  I plan to add three days of another cardio activity like bike riding. 

My over all philosophy is to behave like someone who is fit. After all...


Living Fit Is My #1 Job!

May 23 Weigh-In

I lost a pound this week.  I happy that it continues to go down.  Rationally, I know that this is what I should expect.    11.5 lbs. in six weeks is really good.  For the most part, I am fine with it.  I am not expecting to have "Biggest Loser" type losses. My frustration is with the overall time it takes to lose the weight.  I very much want to get under 300 lbs.  Psychologically, it would be a great relief.  I know I just need to keep plugging away, living fit, and letting the weight come off naturally.

I guess that it is partly that I seem to have tricked myself into thinking that I gained the weight very quickly, therefore I should be able to take it off quickly.  In reality, it did not put it on overnight.  I was just deluding myself.  When I finally started to look at my excess weight realistically, it just seemed like I went from gaining a few pounds to gaining a lot.

Still, I will take joy in the loss of one pound (especially knowing that there will be weeks that I will not lose any or even gain).  It's one pound less than I weighed last week, and 11.5 lbs. less than I weighed 6 week ago.

Living Fit Is My #1 Job!  

May 16th Weigh-In

Last Friday, we went to a wedding. I did not control myself, although I planned to.  I ate a big breakfast and a regular lunch.  I had snacks.  My goal arrive at the reception without feeling famished. It was a 5PM wedding.  The reception was nearby with a staring time of 7PM. We figured we would start eating between 7:30 and 8PM.  They did have some fruit, crackers, garlic bread, and cheese to nibble on.  When the couple hadn't arrived by 8PM, we had cleared out that table.  I was not as reserved as I hoped to be.  By the time we did get our food for dinner, it was after 9PM.  I was quite hungry.  I wasn't out of control, but I was far from reserved.  When I figured my calories later, I discovered that last Friday, I consumed more the twice what I normally eat.

One day, one night, one time out of the ordinary.  This is not an all or nothing proposition that I am on.  This is a lifestyle that I am living.  These sorts of things will happen.  There is no avoiding them. For all my plans, I can't plan for everything. 

This week, I attended a work related conference.  I had little control over the food served.  I did well.  Well, that is until the banquet on Tuesday night.  The salad they served was filled with blue cheese.  I hate blue cheese.  So I gave the cheese to someone else. Otherwise it was basically spinach and a tiny bit of some sweet vinaigrette.  There was a wonder dinner roll which I ate without butter.  Then diiner was served.  It was a large piece of steak, breaded fish, vegetables, and a mound of garlic mashed potatoes (no gravy).  I ate everything.  For desert was a delicious piece of chocolate cake with some sort of chocolate sauce that oozed out when I stuck my fork in it.  Later I had 2 beers.  I figured my calories for the day to me around one and a half times what I normally eat.

No use beating myself up over it.  It happened.  I go on living my fit lifestyle.

Today, was able to step back on the scale again.  After the two days indulgences, I hoped to remain even, but suspected it would be a gain.  Instead, I was down 2.5 lbs.

I don't think I will ever understand how the body works.  One week, I will eat healthy all week.  I will exercise all week.  Then, I will see little to no weight loss.  Then I have a week like this past one and lose an exceptional amount of weight.  I know there are all sorts of factors like water retention, muscle gain, muscle loss, etc.  I know it is the overall trend of a healthy lifestyle, not what I lose in a particular week or month or year. 

All that being said, it was a very welcome loss.  I had been feeling down.  Though my clothes are a little looser, they aren't all that much looser.  It's more like they are beginning to fit the way they should.  I don't look any different in the mirror.  I didn't feel like I was losing weight.  In fact, I felt like was gaining.  I know that is totally subjective.  Sometimes, I feel like I am losing.  Sometimes, I feel like I am gaining.  There is nothing objective about it.  I know I should take pride in living a fit lifestyle.  I shouldn't be too emotionally wrapped up in a scale.  But it was a great boost to see that number this morning.

Living Fit Is My #1 Job!

May 9th Weigh-In

This morning I weighed 317lbs. for a loss of 2 lbs. I completed another day running with my daughters.  I figured that we are in our 6th week of running.  I think I read somewhere that it takes 6-8 weeks to form a habit.  I missed running so much.  Even though I am nowhere near where I was before, I am thrilled to running.  Even more, I am proud of my daughters for their determination.
Living Fit Is My #1 Job!

Wow- Two and a Half Years

Where does the time go? Too much has happened to report it all. Suffice it to say that I did not maintain living a fit lifestyle. I never really gave up. Basically when I stopped running, regular exercise slowly slipped out of my life. I fell back into some pretty bad eating habits, interrupted by some attempts to get it under control. I have been exercising for over a month now. I get in cardio 3 days a week and strength training 2-3 day a week. Right now I have no goals in terms of running in races, triathlons or any other goals except to maintain this habit. I fear pushing myself too much will lead to another injury and another downward spiral.

I have my two oldest children to thank. Before Easter, they both came to me and said they wanted to start running. I decided to go with them, but take it easy. Hopefully my tendon won't sideline me again. However, they are a great motivation to me.

So what do I weigh now. My last official weigh-in was 319 lbs. I have lost seven lbs. in 3 weeks. I didn't check my at first. Thankfully, I have kept off over 50 lbs. from my original weight. More important, I am living a fit lifestyle once again. I can once again say, "Living Fit is my #1 Job!"