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Tuesday, July 3, 2007

I Wish Everyone Was Fatter than Me!


I have been overweight and obese most of my life. When I was a kid, I remember wishing everyone was fatter than me, or wishing I could go to some alternate universe where I was considered the perfect specimen as I was.

Ahh, who am I kidding? I have had these thoughts throughout my adult life. I think this comes from an attitude of entitlement.

I have a friend who has an entitlement complex. He believes that everything should happen the way he want when he wants. As a consequence (IMHO), he has a lot of problems. He has trouble dealing with the fact that super models aren't swooning over him and people aren't throwing money at him for his wonderful work. He is a very angry person.

I used to think to myself, "How can anyone think that they are entitled to everything in life?" After all, I knew that things were not handed to you on a silver platter. You have to work hard to get what you want, and even then, you usually need a little extra help.

Now, it strikes me that I have had the same attitude towards my obesity. I figured that if everyone were just fatter than me or I lived in some bizarro universe, everyone would think I looked good, and I would be considered healthy. You see, I had an entitlement attitude. I thought it would be great if I didn't need to work hard and still be considered comely. In some strange way, I thought the world owed it to me to consider me good looking.

I hate introspection. I always end up discovering something bad about myself, lol. But, the good thing is that it is a chance to learn and grow.

I would like to say that I no longer give a crap what other think about me or the way I look, but that would be FALSE modesty. I am trying to live fit and be fit. Certainly, I hope that that will lead to looking good. But, fitness is more important than looks.

My wife's cousin just died of a massive heart attack at age 33. I am 38. Who gives a rat's pitootee (sp?) about looks compared to leaving my wife and soon to be 5 kids without a husband and father? Who cares about looks if cannot get my fat rump off the bench to play with my kids? Who cares about looks if I have to inject myself with insulin, go blind, and lose my limbs?

I still care about looks, but this journey is not about looks, and it's about much more than weight loss. Hopefully, those will side-effects. More important, I want to be fit for my family and for myself.

I don't wish everyone was fatter than me. I wish to be fit. I wish for everyone to be fit. I know that it takes hard work. I pray for the strength to continue this journey of fitness for the rest of my life.

Living Fit Is My #1 Job!

24 comments:

"The Captain" said...

Well written post. I was thinking about posting my 5 favorite podcasts. I think my new favorite is the fitnessrocks.org by Dr. Monte with a second place being the MD no bull radio. What do you think your favorite 5 are?
Jeff

celtic_girl said...

I agree with the captain - a well written post. I always thought I was a " Renaissance Woman" living in the wrong century - dang! You know I don't want to be admired, I only want people to look at me without disgust and pity.

Congratulations on the loss this week and moving out of the morbidly obese zone. I'm a bee's dick away from it myself.

Take care and remeber to breath.

Half Man said...

Captain - I'm not much of a podcast listener, but I'll check out the ones you list.

Celtic Girl - We all want to be admired :) Good going on your own weight loss.

Everyone - I have no idea what is happening with my post. I had a Family Guy video that stopped showing up. I changed it to a picture. Now that doesn't show up and the Family Guy vid shows up as a seperate post. However, it does not show up where I can edit my posts. Grrr.

Sayre said...

Excellent post, Half Man! I understand where you're coming from on this. I would love to say that I wanted to lose weight for health and fitness on my own, but it's the concern for my husband and my son that got me off the couch. My husband confessed to me that he was scared I'd have a heart attack and leave him to raise our son alone. Something he wasn't sure he'd be able to do. So off I go on my walk now!

CactusFreek said...

In some countries, your weight is a sign of wealth, and that is attractive.
I agree that it has to be about health first. But of course we want to look good too. It's just a by product of being healthy. We want our spouses to look at us approvingly. That's just human nature.
I'm sorry to hear about your wifes cousin. I hope your wife is dealing with it ok.

CactusFreek said...

...Why do you have a bravenet photo album with no photos in it?? Hhhmmm??

Half Man said...

Sayre - Good for you. You are doing great.

Cactus - I suppose I could hire myself out as a Buddha look alike. Sorry about the photos. I got photo book set up, but now I need to find a little time to fill it, lol.

Christine said...

Hi! Great blog today. It's turned into something else for me these days. At first it was a diet. Now its me changing my life. It's me finally waking up and doing what I should have done a long time ago. Thanks so much for keeping an eye on me - its much appreciated. We can do this. Take care and keep bloggin!

ArleneWKW said...

One of the things that I notice about myself is that my perception of other people's bodies is changed by my current weight. When I was 125.5 lbs., I tended to see people who were slightly chubby as fat. At my current weight, 195.5 pounds, people who are 15 or l20 pounds overweight look perfectly okay to me.

I think the thoughts that you express in your post are wise ones. Unfortunately age has not taught me wisdom. At friggin 61, I'm very much attracted to the superficial joy of looking good in revealing clothes. A secondary goal, albeit the more grown up one, is the sense of competency that I experience when I'm being self discipline.

Congratulations to you for a much saner and more grown up attitude.

"The Captain" said...

Halfman,
I was impersonated by a troll with to much time on his hands. I would rather not add comment moderation to my site, but I am thinking about it. I hope you had a nice fourth.
Jeff

Half Man said...

Christine - Thanks

Arlenewkw - It's tough since we live in such a superficial society which makes us yearn to have a ridiculously low body fat level. Check out this video for an example of what I mean:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFQVl6WJT1k

Captain - It won't bother me if you need to moderate. I would do the same in a heartbeat.

"The Captain" said...

I really think you will like fitnessrocks.org
The trolls now have my picture on their icon. Some people really have a lot of time on their hands.
Jeff

Anonymous said...
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Lily T said...

Lovely post. May all you hope for come true.

Kim Ayres said...

I always knew I was born to be one of the idle rich... but my parents let me down by not being wealthy enough

;)

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Great post :)

Half Man said...

Captain - Don't sweat the trolls.

Anonymous - What am I supposed to do with my pink tights that say Fat Slob on them?

Lilyt- Thanks :)

Kim - LOL

FLG - Thanks

Spidey said...

Good rant!! Let it out!!

S William said...

Looks is a side effect for me. I have 2 daughters and a wife that I want to live for. Everything else is just icing on the cake - or slat on the broccoli.

Great post.

"the captain" said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Half Man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
"The Captain" said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
"The Captain" said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Half Man said...

Spidey - Thanks. Was I really ranting?

S William - I got you beat with 4 daughters, lol