Tuesday, July 3, 2007
I Wish Everyone Was Fatter than Me!
I have been overweight and obese most of my life. When I was a kid, I remember wishing everyone was fatter than me, or wishing I could go to some alternate universe where I was considered the perfect specimen as I was.
Ahh, who am I kidding? I have had these thoughts throughout my adult life. I think this comes from an attitude of entitlement.
I have a friend who has an entitlement complex. He believes that everything should happen the way he want when he wants. As a consequence (IMHO), he has a lot of problems. He has trouble dealing with the fact that super models aren't swooning over him and people aren't throwing money at him for his wonderful work. He is a very angry person.
I used to think to myself, "How can anyone think that they are entitled to everything in life?" After all, I knew that things were not handed to you on a silver platter. You have to work hard to get what you want, and even then, you usually need a little extra help.
Now, it strikes me that I have had the same attitude towards my obesity. I figured that if everyone were just fatter than me or I lived in some bizarro universe, everyone would think I looked good, and I would be considered healthy. You see, I had an entitlement attitude. I thought it would be great if I didn't need to work hard and still be considered comely. In some strange way, I thought the world owed it to me to consider me good looking.
I hate introspection. I always end up discovering something bad about myself, lol. But, the good thing is that it is a chance to learn and grow.
I would like to say that I no longer give a crap what other think about me or the way I look, but that would be FALSE modesty. I am trying to live fit and be fit. Certainly, I hope that that will lead to looking good. But, fitness is more important than looks.
My wife's cousin just died of a massive heart attack at age 33. I am 38. Who gives a rat's pitootee (sp?) about looks compared to leaving my wife and soon to be 5 kids without a husband and father? Who cares about looks if cannot get my fat rump off the bench to play with my kids? Who cares about looks if I have to inject myself with insulin, go blind, and lose my limbs?
I still care about looks, but this journey is not about looks, and it's about much more than weight loss. Hopefully, those will side-effects. More important, I want to be fit for my family and for myself.
I don't wish everyone was fatter than me. I wish to be fit. I wish for everyone to be fit. I know that it takes hard work. I pray for the strength to continue this journey of fitness for the rest of my life.
Living Fit Is My #1 Job!