After 20 weeks of eating healthy and exercising, you would think I would start to have all this energy. You would think that I would wake up full of vim and verve ready to take on the day. You would think I would go from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds flat.In reality, I hate getting up. I put off my morning exercise past any reason. I am distracted all day long. I am not excited about work. I desire to stay home and play with the kids all day. Even when I do get the chance to play with the kids, I am distracted. Though it doesn't seem nearly as bad as it used to be, I am sad a lot.
I think that part of the problem is that I am looking for big changes in too short of time. In my mind, I should see some bigger changes in 20 weeks. Perhaps, I need to wait for 40 weeks or 52 weeks to see big changes. I know I am changing, but it seems so slow for the amount of time and effort I have put into it. I am not talking about the weight loss. In fact, weight is the one area I see a big change in numbers. It's all the accompanying issues that I want to see big changes in. Here is a quick list of what I am looking for:1) Full of energy all day
2) Obvious visible difference in appearance
3) Good concentration
4) Only feeling sad when there is something to feel sad about
Perhaps I am getting closer to these things, but the progress is so slow that they barely seem perceptible. I guess I am discouraged which doesn't help anything, but it's the truth. I am not discouraged in the sense of chucking the fit lifestyle. If anything that would make all those things worse.
I know that if I keep plugging away, things will get better. If I think about all the things I can do and do do now that I couldn't or wouldn't do 6 months ago, I see a lot of good things; a lot of improvements. That helps a little, but for right now, I guess I just have the weather these feelings for awhile.
Okay, I payed my 5 bucks.
Addendum 6/23/07: I got over 8 hours of sleep last night. I am sure it was REM sleep since I had a very bizarre dream. I kept finding candy bars that had been partially eaten. They were in drawers, gym bags, cars, etc... Each time I saw one, I would eat the rest and tell myself that just that bit wouldn't hurt. After about 20 or so, I said to myself, "Uh-Oh, I have really screwed up." In my mind I knew that there was no way to repair the damage. During part of this dream someone was chasing me. He had something to say to me that I didn't want to hear even though I knew it was nothing bad. Then, I was chasing that person to tell him something he needed to know, but he kept running away from me. At one point, I gave the guy a couple of the candy bars. Oh yeah...another thing. I was taking my family to the ball game. My one brother said he wanted to go too. I already bought the tickets and my brother backed out at the last minute. That ticked me off because I was out $20. I don't remember anything after I realized I screwed up.
The strange thing is that I am not a candy bar eater and was not even before I started living a fit lifestyle. I haven't bought a candy bar in years. I don't crave them now...at least consciously.
Living Fit Is My #1 Job!
14 comments:
Regarding #2 in your list of demands, I remember the last time you posted a photo of yourself, and compared to your before photo I could definitely see a difference.
Also, have you considered that perhaps those other issues may not be entirely weight related?
Anyway man, keep sticking it to the proverbial man. Who that might be in this instance, I have no idea, but I felt tired of saying "Keep it up" :D
Diet and exercise will help energy levels. You might also try to catch up on sleep. Most Americans don't get nearly enough sleep.
Sorry the blues hit. I hate that when it happens to me. As you note, the best thing is to keep going knowing that things will change.
Summertime blahs... I know them well. There are days when I feel like that - usually when I don't go to bed early enough.
Sounds like your motivation has hit a plateau - try something a little different to shake things up!
I am also put in mind of Brasington's Ninth Law:
A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned one will take only
twice as long.
You aren't alone when it comes to the blues - some great advice above - time to spice things up! We can make this happen!!
FTL - Thanks. I wish I could see it, but I admit that I am biased. True, the other things aren't solely dependent upon weight, but better fitness is supposed to help and I know that if I hadn't been living a fit lifestyle, these things would all be worse.
Don Q. - I have been trying to get at least 8 hours, but it usually ends up around 7 or less. Thanks for the encouragement.
Sayre - I am still motivated, but I am discouraged. Or am I trying to split hairs? I am not sure what to do different.
Christine - Any suggestions on what to do to spice things up?
Keep sticking it to the man. Call the IRS on your boss and collect the reward. That might make you feel better and will put a few dollars in your pocket too.
As far as discouragement is concerned, I have been discouraged since January. You just have to bitch and moan your way through it. I will let you know when I start losing weight again.
I dunno - get on the treadmill naked? - might brighten your mood and give you the giggles - don't get down - it just has to be worth it in the end. I have convinced myself of that. Take care.
Sometimes weight loss can feel like watching paint dry. But even a pound a week adds up to over 100 pounds in 2 years. Try taking L-carnatine. It burns fat and makes you happy.
Jeff
I can soooo relate to your list. After decades of yoyo dieting and now with a year of dhealthy eating instead (80ish lbs lost and only 60ish to go) I know first hand what the emotional roller coaster is like.
Couple of suggestions - take a good multi vitamin, and a omega 3 supplement. Have your doctor check you out too - blood pressure issues and a few other things could be drainging your energy.
You may also not get be restful sleep - even if you get "enough" sleep if it is not restful your body will be exhausted. Perhaps speak with your doctor about getting evaluated.
Exercise and lots of water also help with energy.
Depression - having suffered with it for years and it still pops up now also I know how hard it is to get through a day - I have found that with daily practice and effort the mind really can be focused on more positive things. Have to work at it and literally drag the mind away from the downward spiral. Reading good books, inspiring websites, and surrounding myself with positive images and affirmations helps, and lots of HUMOR!. But seeking a little medical help is definitely a positive option also. Depression is very draining on physical energy as well.
I give myself reality checks when ever depression starts to set in again -- I have found that "reparenting" myself in a healthy way has helped a lot - retraining the old negative voice in my head to delete that message and fill the void with a big dose of reality and appreication for my family, my friends, and the positive steps I'm taking to get heatlhy.
Wishing you all the best on your journey to health, Lady Rose
Hang in there. I know what you are going through. Sadness from being overweight is a normal thing, but it doesn't have to be a controllign thing.
I appreciate everyone's responses and advice.
Spidey - Thanks for the laugh.
Christine - LOL, I think that would make me cry and since I don't own a treadmill, it would make the people at the gym cry too ;)
Captain - It's not the weight loss itself. It's the things I expect to happen because of it. And that is definately like watching paint dry. I will look into L-Carnatine.
Lady Rose - I suppose I should talk to my doctor, but I doubt I will. I know I am wrong, but I simply don't see my doctor unless I am in a LOT of pain. I have wondered if I was truly depressed or not. Of course, this too should be all the more reason to go see my doctor. Thanks for the encouragement
S William - I am not sure if I am sad about being overweight. Perhaps so, but it just seems to be a general sadness with no particular focus. I don't know if it is controlling me, but I am not letting it keep me from getting done what I need to get done.
I’ve been exercising for 4 years and I still get the blahs and have trouble staying asleep. It’s not a cure-all but it really is the “magic pill” that everyone’s talking about, because before exercise I was lethargic all the time. Now I’m only lethargic some of the time.
lily T - I know that I really do have more energy than before, but I don't have that spring in my step that I thought I would have by now. Really, I am pretty tired all the time. Thinking it through...never mind. I will save that for a post :)
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