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Sunday, September 9, 2007

Stress Shut Down

I had to go out of town at the end of last week for a meeting. I stayed at my dad's house, got some stuff done for him, and brought him back up with me to live for a few months. Because of this, I had a ton of things to do at work on Saturday.

While I was gone, a number of things happened at work so there was even more. In addition, I wanted to spend time with the kids to give my wife a break. Whenever I leave town, she has to load up all FIVE kids to do anything like shop or take one to piano lessons, etc...

I get home late Friday night with dad and of course, I can't get to sleep until about 2 hours later than normal. I get up a little bit late Saturday and one thing after another happened. I didn't get to work until noon. Ack!!! Instead of diving right into all that I dad to do, I could hardly do a thing.

I felt like I was trying to walk through tar. Everything I did was a great struggle. Despite this feeling, I forced myself to get a number of things done. Around 3:30 PM, I just shut down. I just sat there like a deer in headlights. I was frozen; unable to do anything else. I left many things undone. I went home and played with the kids.

I did end up having to go into work for about 30 minutes because of an emergency situation, but I went home as soon as I took care of it. I basically shut down and let everything go.

I am not sure what the repercussions will be this coming week. I am not sure that I care. It was just strange. Normally, I flourish when the pressure is on. For some odd reason, I shut down this time. What is the matter with me?

Anyhow, I should mention that my third and final interview was scheduled for this coming Tuesday, but I postponed it indefinitely. It's a job I think I could do well. Yet, I am not sure that I really want to do it. I am not sure if it is because I don't want to leave my current career or because I am afraid to leave my current career. I am not sure if these feelings are about the job I have been interviewing for or if I would have the same feelings for any other job.

Hehe, just a little aside. I have thought about becoming a personal trainer once I reach a healthy weight. I would like to specialize in helping the obese. I have done a little a research and it's scary. It looks like you can become a certified personal trainer with little to no hands on experience. I was looking for a college level program with lots of hands on experience. Anyhow, that is a long way off.

Living Fit Is My #1 Job!


Christine said...

Hope you have had time to breathe since writing this blog. Busy guy for sure!! I am not sure if I am ready to "grow up" - my biggest task this weekend was trying to decide whether to sit on the couch with my blanket - or in my rocking chair.

ArleneWKW said...

I love your metaphor (or is a simili) of "trying to walk through tar." Five kidlets and a dad who'll be living with you for a few months (in addition to your job) sounds like major stress to me - even if your kidlets are wonderful and your relationship with your dad an easy one. Shutting down for awhile may be the best way to preserve your sanity amidst all this stress. It certainly beat mindless overeating. (Maybe I could use some "shutting down" lessons). The photo of the desk piled up with papers is cool.
I hope the coming week is more settled down for you.

Kim Ayres said...

The stresses you are under are huge. No wonder you're hesitating about the new job. At times of crisis and overload we will shut down and certainly retreat into the comfortable and familiar. even if you're not happy with your current job, at least you know it.

You're in a real potential danger zone here, and risk major damage to your mental health if you are not careful. Don't underestimate this. Seek advice, help and support, and don't try and be superman.

Half Man said...

Thank you for your comments. I have been seeking advice, but the people who best understand my position are supportive, but don't have any real advice to offer. I ge the feeling that they are thinking, "Dang! I hope I am never in your position."

Kim Ayres said...

That depends on whether you're talking to men or women. Of course I am generalising here, and there will be exceptions, however...

As a rule, women tend to be empathetic and will be supportive by sharing your pain. Men will try and tell you what you should do. We're problem solvers.

So if you want empathy, talk to a woman, if you want advice, talk to a man, but don't exect him to necessarily understand your problem because he's not likely to have as much empathy.

For my 2 cents worth, I would say don't forget what's important in life and make sure you enjoy it now. Don't keep putting off your life until the kids have grown up, the mortgage is paid off, you've retired, etc etc.

There's an old saying that it's not the destination that's important, but the journey - and never has a truer word been said.

Our ultimate destination is death. We HAVE to take the time to enjoy the journey. If you found yourself on your deathbed tomorrow, what would your biggest regrets be? The answer to this question will give you an idea of what you consider to be important in life that you're letting slip.

Few people say "I wish I'd driven myself into the ground or beaten myself up a bit more."

CactusFreek said...

My husband is extreemly good at his job!
But because of this, when he goes into work to start a new shift, he finds that some of his workmates have just dumped some of their work that they just assumed he'd do, on his desk for him.
He does it too. At first he felt good about it,because everyone thought he was good enough to lean on a bit. But now they just take advantage [i think] and he feels that it's awekward now to say something. But in turn, it's making his work life a misery!
That picture of the woman at her desk with all that paperwork is sooooooo him!
I feel terrible for him :o(

Spidey said...

Good luck with all your issues, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate!

You are really a stand-up guy to take care of your dad. I cannot stress how much that impresses me, as many people just ship their parents off to the nursing home. I don't think that is wrong to do, but I think that being there for your folks when they are reaching the end is definitely a cut above. I hope everything you want works out for you!